


bubble gum

by abstrct



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Clairo, Emotional, Feelings, I’m sad, M/M, of feelings, self projection lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-15 00:03:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abstrct/pseuds/abstrct
Summary: poe’s sad and emotional and in love.





	bubble gum

**Author's Note:**

> lmao a lottttt of self-projection. i’m writing this so late and i have school tomorrow so imma dip. hope you enjoy!! kudos and feedback are much appreciated :)
> 
> lyrics are from bubble gum - clairo

/sorry i didn’t kiss you/

breathing the same air, finn and poe were very close. in public, too, at the hanger. they were very close in public. poe looked up at finn. he looked at his eyes, the beautiful brown eyes that he saw every night before going to bed. he looked at his nose and jawline, the one he could always see in the dark. he looked at his lips, the ones he always dreamt about kissing. 

/but it’s obvious i wanted to/

before poe could look anywhere else, he was reminded of everyone around them and how this is probably going to ruin their relationship. he took a step back and closed his eyes, breathing a long sigh. “i’m gonna-i’m gonna go get cleaned up,” he stated and walked away, cussing himself out in his head. he didn’t even turn back to look at finn.

/bubble gum down my throat and it’s a curse/

as soon as he closed the door to his quarters, (technically, it was his and finn’s quarters) he felt a lump in his throat. it was as if someone had stuffed yards and yards of barbed wire down his throat. he felt like he was going to cry and he really wouldn’t blame himself if he did. he let a few tears roll down before regaining himself and going to their shared bathroom. 

/but my luck couldn’t get any worse/

he closed the bathroom and leaned against it, closing his eyes to let more tears fall. he didn’t really know why he was crying. maybe it was because he had a chance to kiss the one person he’s always wanted to but threw that chance away as soon as he got it? he opened his eyes and saw finn’s toothbrush, and his toothpaste, which allowed more tears to roll. he just needed to get in the shower. 

/cause i swallowed the bubble gum, oh and these seven years will be pretty dumb/

poe thought about facing finn. he thinks he may have to avoid him for the rest of his life, or as long as he stays with the resistance. he could not come face to face with him after he could smell his cologne and know where he puts his cologne (which is behind the ears and a few dabs on the neck, he might’ve always watched him get ready in the mornings.) 

/pink flowers grow from my skin, pepto bismol veins and i grin/

poe felt like he was coming out of his own skin. he immediately regretted running away. he wished he could go back, he wanted to go back, he needed to go back. he wanted to talk to finn and tell him how he’s felt, how he’s always felt. but when he even thinks about doing that, his body feels like it’s floating and his heart feels like it’s pumping in his throat. 

/you look so nice in your shirt, it’s sad because it just hurts/

after his shower was over, he was sad. he felt empty and sad. he didn’t want to leave the bathroom because finn might be on the other side. finn, and his good looking face. finn, and his always, /always/, well dressed body. finn, and his soft heart that always wanted to help. he was so sad. he wanted to be with finn, he wanted to be happy with finn.

/i’d do anything for you, but would you do that for me, too?/

his sadness was uncalled for, because all he did was walk away. poe was the one that walked away. maybe, just maybe, if he stayed for a second longer, finn might’ve kissed him. or he might’ve been the one to walk away. poe dried his hair to the best of his ability and threw some clothes on. when he walked out, his heart dropped to his stomach. there was finn sitting at the end of poe’s bed, picking at his fingers. poe wanted to walk back into the bathroom. 

finn looked up and saw poe, clearing his throat, “hey.” 

“hey,” poe tried to sound cool, like he wasn’t just crying. finn made a weird face for a split second, he guessed it was a little obvious. 

finn moved to the left a little, making room for poe and patting his hand beside him. poe swallowed dryly and sat down. they sat in silence for a few minutes, poe wanted to lean his head on finn’s shoulder and tell him everything he’d ever felt for him. 

/cause i swallowed the bubble gum, oh and these seven years will be pretty dumb/

“i’m sorry,” finn said, voice barely above a whisper. poe’s heart broke into a million pieces. just those two words. he couldn’t help but lay his head on finn’s shoulder, hoping he didn’t mind if his shirt got wet. he felt his muscles tense up, but then they relaxed with a long sigh. 

“i’ve always loved you. always,” poe’s heart was in his throat, just like he’d always imagined it feeling. he breathed it, not really saying it. if anyone else was in the room, they never would’ve heard it. 

/pink flowers grow from my skin, pepto bismol veins and i grin/

finn grabbed his hand and held it gently, prompting poe to lift his head off his shoulder on him. he stared with cautious eyes, worrying about what might happen next. next, finn kissed him. gentle and intimate. poe melted immediately and felt like he was going to break down in tears. this was like the “are you ok?” of his situation. he wasn’t ok, but this made him ok. finn cupped a hand around poe’s cheek and slowly leaned away. without saying a word, he leaned his forehead against poe’s and the world was at peace. and they were ok.


End file.
